This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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