so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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