Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize