He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
