This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dicks are not precious.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
