Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
