I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize