During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
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Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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