shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
