do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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