no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
