Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
