38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
