Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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