I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
