I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
the liver wants what the liver wants
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
