Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
