He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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