Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
