I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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