SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
