I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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