Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
