I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
