think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Randomize
