go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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