In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize