So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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