Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
