This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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