dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize