There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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