I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
