Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
