Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
