Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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