I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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