I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
