Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
