we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We have started to decorate penises.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
