I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
