I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
