Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
