I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
