Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
