im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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