I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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