i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
