I love black thongs
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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