Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
