well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
