I heard we made out
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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