Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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