So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
