I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
