Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
