I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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