she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
