so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Buhtt sex?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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