we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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