She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
