is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
