We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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