what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
