Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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