He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
