Your face is a jimmy john
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
